


Skimbletable

by Anonymous



Series: Cursed Prompts [1]
Category: Cats - Andrew Lloyd Webber
Genre: Crack, Just pure crack, Multi, NOW WITH LYRICS, not explicit but just really weird, now with more flavors, skimbletable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-19 04:21:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29620542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: IMPORTANT NOTE: I see Pounce as being a young adult, of age but a dingusPounce gets invited to join the Skimbletable. But what is the Skimbletable?Inspired by how Skimble acts as a table during Victoria and Plato's dance during the Jellicle Ball and a really, really weird conversation that followed.UPDATE: Now with wild west flavorDOUBLE UPDATE: NOW WITH SONG LYRICS
Series: Cursed Prompts [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2191551
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10
Collections: Anonymous





	1. Chapter 1

“Hey, Jenny, have you seen Skimble around?” Pounce wandered into her den. “I wanna ask him- WHAT IN THE EVERLASTING HEAVISIDE IS GOING ON.”

“Why hello!” Skimble cheerfully said from the center of the undulating pile of cats. “Come to join us, lad?”

Pounce stared. How could he not at such a sight?

Skimble was splayed out on his back, displaying a wide assortment of sushi tastefully arranged over his nipples. Jenny and Jelly were currently fighting over a section near his groin while Bustopher and Asparagus were engaged in rapt contemplation of just how they wanted to proceeed.

“Bwuh.” Was all Pounce could say.

“There’s plenty of room over by Bustopher, dear, don’t be shy.” Jenny cooed as she delicately place a morsel in her mouth.

“By jove, this is better dining than at the Senior Educational.” Bustopher declared, not even bothering to brush off the cat hair as he indulged himself with a piece from under Skimble’s chin. “Lady Griddlebone, would you care for a sample?”

“Lady… wh….” Pounce watched as Jelly leaned over Skimble’s body to share.

It was too much. Pounce turned and fled, leaving the junkyard, the world, the universe, never to be seen again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Same weird thing but with a wild west flavor

“Jenny, where y’all at, I got a question for you that’s burnin’ a hole in my britches- WHAT IN ALL THE SWEET HEAVISIDE AND HEEHAW IS GOIN’ ON?”

“Well howdy there Pounce.” Jenny greeted him, tying off the last knot with a satisfying stretch. “We were wondering if y’all were going to show up ‘round these here parts.”

“It ain’t a proper shindig if you’re just riding solo.” Skimble added as best he could around the ropes encircling his entire body. Jenny had trussed him up like a pig and he looked mighty pleased. “Why don’t you pull up a seat and join us for a spell.”

Skimble was splayed on his back, ropes crisscrossing his body in a decorative fashion, leaving a checkerboard pattern across his naked body. A fine spread of Jelly’s best cooking was laid out on top of him, the delicious smells wafting through the air, the lady herself setting out a bowl of baked beans above Skimble’s groin to go along with the slices of cornbread laid out over his nipples.

Seated around him were Bustopher ‘yeehaw y’all’ Jones (who was indulging himself in a bit of moonshine courtesy of Asparagus, who had brought his finest brew for such an occasion), Asparagus, Jelly and Jenny. It was reminiscent of a picnic lunch in the middle of a warm, welcoming summer, although there was nothing welcoming about this particular sight. 

“Boy howdy.” Pounce stared, slowly reaching for the shotgun he had slung across his back. 

Sheriff Munk had done his best to train him for such a time when he was faced with the cruelties the wild west had to offer, but nothing could ever prepare his poor yeehaw self for this. Idly he wished that he had walked in on Dastardly Macavity instead.

“There’s plenty of space to park yourself over by Bustopher.” Jenny poured him a tall glass of sarsaparilla.

“Why don’t you join me and wet your whistle.” Asparagus held up another jug of moonshine. “My Lady Griddlebone, would you care for a swig?”

“What in the blazes?” Pounce watched as Jelly leaned over Skimble’s body to share.

It was too much. Pounce turned and fled, leaving the picnic, the prarie, the wild west, never to be seen again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NOW THERE ARE LYRICS TO SUSHI SKIMBLE
> 
> Disclaimer I did not write this but I have permission to share it

Skimbletable the Sushi Cat  
The Cat of the Sushi Place

There’s a murmer from the crowd  
And it’s getting pretty loud  
That the dinner crowd’s ready to begin

Saying “Table, where is Table?  
Were the stories just a fable?  
When oh when will they let us in?”

All the creeps and all the lurkers  
And the hungry hungry perverts  
Would be hoping against hope  
Thinking “Table, where is Table?  
Must request him if we’re able  
Or this meal will surely blow.”

Once a few minutes had passed  
With their faces to the glass  
All the customers are frantic to a man  
That’s when I would appear  
I’d disrobe and climb up here  
Bring the sushi out quick as you can!

Then he gave one flash  
Of his ass, ‘lean prize’  
And the signal went “All Clear!”

They’d be in at last  
At the sushi joint  
Where the food is a la rear!

Skimbletable the Sushi Cat  
The Cat of the Sushi Place!

It was very pleasant  
When they sat down in their chair  
With me splayed out, set up to begin (yum yum!)  
And the flatware was quite neat  
With the settings all complete  
And the lighting dimmed enough to shroud the sin  
There was every sort of fish  
You could order what you wish  
And a server you could call to get a drink (yum yum!)  
And a fresh bottle of soy sauce  
With my face that’s labeled ‘Boy-Sauce’  
And a comment card to tell us what you think

Then the new guy’d round the corner  
And he’d ask in abject horror:  
“Do you like your nigiri  
Raw or grilled?”

But I was there betwixt ‘em  
And was all ready to nix him  
For Skimble will make certain you get filled!

So they dug into their fetish food with a feverish new pace  
They all would reflect it was very swell  
To know this would all be worth going to Hell  
They could eat all that off the Sushi Cat  
The Cat of the Sushi Place

Skimbletable the Sushi Cat  
The Cat of the Sushi Place!

And no matter what the hours  
My expression never sours  
Every now and then I’d offer specialties  
With perhaps a bit of hair  
That had floated from somewhere  
They’re not stopping, they keep eating as they please

They were deep into round two  
And so they never knew  
That I’d covertly drop recommendations  
They were scarfing all the while I was busy making smiles  
Every one of them giving into temptation

I might undulate and crease  
If someone can’t reach a piece  
If there was anything I thought would bring them glee

When they all had had their fill  
And it came to pay the bill  
I would cry out, “Guys, it’s all on me!”

*Skimbletable leaps to his feet, sushi flies everywhere, it’s a mess, he shrugs it off.

And he gives you a wave of his sauce-drenched tail  
And a wink from his rice-stained face  
You will eat once you’re able  
From the Skimbletable  
The Cat of the Sushi Place


End file.
